by Britney Franco

As I get older, more sexism enters my life. As people at school learn that I’m a feminist, their reactions range from “Oh, cool” to “What’s feminism?” to “-insert joke about feminists here-”. In fact, one of my classmates kept telling me a feminist joke; I believe it was “How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?” It started in a Facebook group for my classmates, then escalated to the person calling my house just to tell me. To this day, I still don’t know how he got my house number. All I know is that it left me feeling really upset. I was confused, angry, and most of all, pretty unhappy that this person-and everyone else who continued to make fun of feminists-never really stopped and thought about what feminists actually do.

My peers continue believing stereotypes about feminists, such as the common misconceptions that all feminists hate men, or feminists can’t change anything (which was the punchline to the “joke”), or that there is no need for feminism and therefore there is no need for feminists. After I told the boy who called my house how I felt about the whole thing.  trying to explain as calmly as possible that the joke wasn’t funny and that he should get to know a feminist before making a joke about them, he and another classmate that I needed to “learn how to take a joke.”

It wasn’t funny, though. I wouldn’t-and still won’t-pretend to laugh at something that other people think is funny if I find it as insulting, as I did with this “joke.” It’s awkward having the people around you laugh, and then everyone asking you why you aren’t laughing along with the others. It’s an odd situation where you feel like no one is actually taking the time to listen to what the person is saying, you know? They don’t stop to think about how it feels from your point of view.

It hurts when you truly believe in something and people-especially your own peers-make a joke out of it. I’ve had people at school tell me that because I was feminist, I don’t like men. I’m not complaining about this, because I know that everyone has their own opinions and are entitled to share them, but I feel like those opinions are just based on stereotypes, not getting to know a feminist or research what feminists actually do. But you know what? If they want to remain in that mindset for the rest of their lives, then that’s their choice, not mine. If they want to keep thinking the way they do, then there really is nothing I can do to fix their ignorance.

I can, however, remember how many rad feminist ladies and girls are out there who deal with the same thing, and how that doesn’t stop them from doing what they believe in. So, in the words of a very awesome fellow SPARKer who told me this joke after I described the situation with the aforementioned schoolmate to other SPARK team members: “How many anti-feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?”

“None, because they don’t like change.” ♀