by Georgia Luckhurst

I know I’m not alone in finding that my relationship with my body is changes from day to day, depending on any number of factors. We hear a lot of discussion about teenage girls’ self-esteem, and not just from anxious parents or kindly teachers: the buzzwords of today’s op-eds and research projects are diets, self-loathing, photoshop, size zero. Concern is long overdue, but it is also worthless without conversation – if we only listen to the onlookers, and not those who are experiencing much lamented societal pressure, how will we really inspire change? And if we only focus on the problem, how will we devise a solution?

The best way to find out what pressures affect teenage girls, and to understand the effect of cultural expectations on our self esteem, is to talk to teenage girls themselves. I decided to speak to my friends, as well as teenage girls of the Twittersphere, who offered their tips on sound body confidence.

Embrace the selfie, as well as your individuality.

“I take selfies. It’s nice to look back on a picture and remember how good you felt about yourself that day. That always helps me. And I make sure I tell myself that I can look good. When I’m feeling good about myself, I’m not like, ‘Oh, but Alexa Chung’s better.’ I try not to compare myself to other people too much.” – Lydia

We’re never going to look like another person, or be another person. The only thing we can count on is our complete and utter individuality. I’ve found that if I don’t like a picture of myself, the longer I look at it, the more I grow to like it. In our current frame of mind, celebrating ourselves is an unfamiliar, strange thing – but it shouldn’t be. So take selfies if that’s what you’re into, and do not compare yourself to other girls as though that competition is healthy, and remember all the while that what you are doing is something that will have only beneficial outcomes: increased confidence will impact on your enjoyment of life.

Start each morning positively.

“To feel good about my appearance, I tell myself I’m beautiful in the mirror everyday.” – Jessie

Eat something for breakfast that energises you and makes you feel alert – a smoothie, yoghurt, something that makes you feel good  – and listen to a playlist of your favourite songs as you’re getting ready. Mornings might not be the best part of anybody’s day, but by beginning it positively you’re more likely to enjoy the rest of the day.

Be less judgemental of others, and it will reflect on your treatment of yourself.

“This may seem like an odd tip, but: never ever criticizing how other girls look. Also, telling myself that exercise is for mental health rather than for aesthetic reasons.” – Rori

As I’ve said previously, you are not in competition with other girls. The world may tell you you should be, but shaming other girls’ appearance will only cause you to fear your own – to constantly worry about what others say about you in turn. Don’t buy into patriarchal myths!

Wear the clothes that make you feel great…

“Wearing red makes me feel like I can do anything. Plus red goes with nearly every skin tone!” – Aviv

…And wear the clothes that fit you – ignore the number on the label.

“Don’t be ashamed to buy buy bigger bras or underwear! Once I finally went out and bought the right size I felt so much better!” – Maureen

The number on the label does not define your worth as a human being. Attempting to wear clothes that don’t fit your body will only make you uncomfortable and miserable, so be kind to yourself and wear underwear (and outerwear!) that fits.

Surround yourself with the right people.

“I love it when you are hanging out with your friends and you are all complimenting each other, not because you’re trying too hard to be liked, just because you all feel so comfortable and help each other feel good and more confident (which is what I think friends are there for!)” – Amelia

The right people: they may be hard to find, but once you do you’ll know exactly how important they are. Real friends will never give you reason to second guess yourself, and will never make you feel bad about or doubt yourself for the things you can’t control, like your appearance or your character. What’s more, real friends will make you value those things about you more: you should always feel comfortable and happy around the people you’re with. If it’s a chore to hang out with them, or they make you feel in any way small or unworthy, they don’t deserve your time.

And finally…

Watch the music video for Pretty Hurts hundreds of times.

Even Beyoncé feels it sometimes.